Monday, August 12, 2013

People Peeves: Part Deux

Ever notice how some people just go full-tilt asshole all the time? There is no low to medium setting.  They are just ON.  All. The. Fucking. Time.  Lots of these people are in sales, either in person or via telemarketing.  Since I would HATE to do their job, I try to be as polite as possible when rejecting their offers or services.  (I'm Southern, so I was groomed from birth to be polite.)  Even if you are being a total douchetard, I will say, "Please," and "Thank you" in an effort not to offend.  (Do not mistake this behavior or my accent for a lack of intelligence.  Shit can get REAL, really quickly if you do.)

I understand that salespeople are trained to be tenacious and never take no for an answer, but let's face it -- sometimes no IS the answer.  So, when I try to let you down easy, understand that you do not help your case AT ALL when you start calling me "Honey" or "Sweetheart" in a condescending tone that would keep even Channing Tatum from getting laid, much less convince me that I need your brand of toner for my copier.

People who do not take care of their children make my blood boil.  I've seen more than one report this summer about people leaving a baby or child in a hot car and the child dying.  I won't even leave my iPad in a hot car for fuck's sake!  Unless you step out of the car and drop dead on your way to get your child out, there is absolutely NO EXCUSE for this. 

Another peeve I have is for parents who dress their little girls like whores.  I've seen little girls  wearing midriff bearing tops, low rise jeans and makeup that is in no way age appropriate.  I ain't nobody's mama, but please tell me why anyone would go even a step further and parade their child like this on the "beauty" contest circuit?  Fake hair, fake teeth, spray tans, provocative routines and poses....  A five-year-old who is trained to make a duck face and operate a rip-away skirt on stage is just all kinds of wrong.  You can't tell me there aren't pedophiles out there having a field day with this kind of bullshit.

People with bad breath try my patience, especially if they are also "close talkers."  If my face is squinched up and my eyes are watering while you're talking to me -- Back. The. Fuck. Up.  Folks, how can you NOT know that your breath smells like ass?  If you cannot distinguish between minty fresh and turd tongue, see a professional because there is a problem in there.  Even if you're not sure, trust me, no one's going to complain if you pop an Altoid or suddenly excuse yourself to go brush your teeth as a preventive measure. 

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