Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Nice Catch

My sister, Nice, her husband, "Jeir" and two kids stayed with Hubs and I over the weekend.  Our niece "Drama" is about to turn five and our nephew "Roo" is eight months old.  (I have given them aliases since I will one day rely on them to sneak contraband into the nursing home for me.) 

After dinner, it was bath time for the kiddos.  I talked to Nice while she ran water into the tub and got Roo undressed.  Lawd, that boy is a chunky monkey.  (It's too bad that chubby legs and fat feet become unattractive as we get older.) Not being able to offer anything to the process, I decided to go downstairs and leave Nice to it.

I made it less than five steps before Nice shrieked, "Oh no!  No!  No!"

I dashed back into the bathroom.  "What happened?!?! What's wrong??!"

Nice was holding a soaped, slippery Roo out of the water with his little bum facing us. 

She yelled, "He's pooping!!!!"

Sure enough, those southernmost cheeks were squeezing out a nugget.

I yelled, "Oh no!  What can I do?  What can I do?!??!"

Nice yells back, "I don't know!!!"

Things kind of happened in slow motion from here....

I had immediate access to a red Solo cup (don't judge) so I lurched forward, thrust the cup under that little butt and caught that turdle before it hit the water.

There was a pause, then Nice and I began laughing so hard I nearly peed my pants!

Hubs and bro-in-law wanted to know what the hell was going on.  We explained and the first thing Hubs asks is, "Why didn't you just hold him over the toilet?"

Well. Shit.  I didn't even think of that.  (Hubs --  The Voice of Reason)

I've had a lot of things in a red Solo cup, but THAT was a first!


  1. Those nephews can get away with ANYTHING......we gotta get meaner Kris....

  2. This is hilarious, and knowing both your sister and brother-in-law makes this even funnier. Thanks for sharing!

  3. Note to self...never drink from a red solo cup at your house. WORD