Thursday, July 9, 2015

Shame on You

By now I'm sure you've seen the woman's selfie in an Old Navy tank top that recently went viral. The lady overheard a teen comment to her mother about a plus-size tank top being large enough for two people to fit inside at the same time. The mom agreed and laughed. The offended woman took this as "fat shaming" and left the store crying.

A clothing company for babies was under fire for selling a onesie with "I Hate My Thighs" printed on the front. Some people were outraged because they say the garment is basically baby fat-shaming. Fat babies are the greatest! How big of a stick must you have up your ass to even come up with the idea that talking about a baby's fat is shameful???

People need to lighten up -- and I don't mean that they need to reduce their caloric intake and exercise more frequently. I mean we need to stop being offended by every-fucking-little-thing someone  says that we don't agree with or that hurts our feelings.

Are there insensitive assholes in the world? YES! Are there people with opinions that counter mine? YES! But classifying every instance as an act of shaming is absolutely ridiculous.

I looked up different kinds of shaming and here are just a few of kinds I discovered: pet shaming, body shaming (includes fat and thin), slut shaming, mom shaming, passenger shaming, and the one I was most surprised by -- sunscreen shaming.

What is sunscreen shaming you ask? That is when someone who actively tans and perhaps doesn't use sunscreen makes a comment like, "You're pale" to someone who chooses to use sunscreen to prevent tanning.

Are.You. Fucking. Kidding. Me?!?!

Going back to the Old Navy case, the girl remarked that the top was large enough for two people to fit into it at the same time. Based on the size of the top and the size of some people, I'd venture to say that was a factual statement. Stupid and pointless, but likely factual.

Who. Gives. A. Shit?!?

An observation or heaven forbid a criticism is NOT shaming. Take it or fucking leave it for goodness sake rather than making it a huge deal. Classifying every criticism as shaming devalues true cases of bullying. By constantly alleging shaming, you are giving people who offend you far more power than they deserve.

Fact:  I'm short and have little boobs. If some asshole comments on either of these facts, it would never enter my mind to allege vertically challenged shaming or tiny titty shaming. Would such comments hurt my feelings? Maybe, but I would get over it because I've been offended or had my feelings hurt before and have learned that it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. Hell, if I've had a drink or two, I'm likely to counter, "Like I give a shit you giant, little dicked asshat!" Boom. Over. Resume normally scheduled programming for fuck's sake.

However, if over-shaming continues to be the norm, I'm primed to initiate two types of shaming that will enhance the world in which we live:

1. Chewing with your mouth open and/or smacking shaming -- There is no excuse for this and all of mankind benefits if this shaming causes some of these animals to close their damn mouths and cut it with the visual reminiscent of a dumpster after last call.

2. Pen click shaming -- An annoying-as-fuck habit that serves absolutely no purpose in the world other than cause rational people to totally lose their shit upon prolonged exposure.

You. Are. Welcome.