Monday, June 3, 2013

Cornhole

There are some words I just don't like.  CORNHOLE is one of them.

For those of you who aren't familiar with it, cornhole is a game that is similar to horseshoes except wooden platforms with a hole in each are used as targets and bags of corn are used for tossing.  The little bags of corn look like bean bags, but I read on the American Cornhole Association's (ACA) web site (No shit, this actually exists.) "bean bags are for wimps."

Wow.  Apparently, bags of corn are bad ass.  Who knew?

I know a lot of people love playing cornhole and I've seen all sorts of high dollar, custom cornhole sets advertised.  If you are a cornhole afficianado, cob jock, maize gladiator, kernel colonel, corn head (or whatever you call yourself) more power to you.  I have no problem with the game.  It's the name that I hate. 

Cornhole sounds like something awful that happens in prison rather than a game played in backyards across America.  When I hear "cornhole," I picture a muscled, sweaty convict towering over another dude, nostrils flaring, snarling, "Jus' you wait, motherfucker.  I's gonna cornhole yo' ass when you leas' 'spect it." 

If someone asks, "Y'all want to come over for some cornhole?"  My safe answer will always be, "No."

You never know.  One minute you're tossing little bags of corn, having a few drinks, then next they're asking you to put your car keys in a bowl and stay the night.

I. Don't. Think. So.



4 comments:

  1. I don't know, the prison scenario sounds like fun to me. lol I consider myself a cob jock :)'

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    1. I was just waiting for your comment! Lol. You never disappoint!

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  2. Thank's for starting off my day with a good laugh! I love your stories, but you're gonna have to step it up a bit. Southern women aren't slackers, so get busy!

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  3. When i was eleven in the boy scouts i overheard two Georgia boys talking in their tent. one said "Let's cornhole one another." I moved my tent to the far end of the camp. i didn't want to hear the grunting and other animalistic sounds.

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