Bully for You

One Hot Mama

Super-fit mom, Maria Kang, caused quite the brouhaha when she posted a picture of herself in teensy workout wear along with her three small children on Facebook with the caption, "What's your excuse?"  The photo went viral and lots of moms have accused her of "fat shaming" and have blasted her for the post, some even calling her a bully. You can read more about her here.


The coach of a Texas high school football team has been accused of bullying in a formal complaint filed by the father of a player on the opposing team after his team beat another school 91-0.  You can read more about the complaint here. 

I think these are both cases where the term "bully" is misused.

Okay, so some moms are offended by Kang's picture and question.  I can see that, but why the need to classify her as a bully?  This woman obviously quite literally works her ass off to look like that, so if you are a mom who isn't that in to diet and fitness for whatever reason, why should you give a shit what someone else does?

Hell, if anyone should be offended, it should be those of us without kids who really don't have any excuse not to be super-fit.  Are my granny panties all in a bunch over her or any woman in booty shorts flaunting a hot bod?  Nope.  I just say, "More power to ya chick!" and toast her with my mixed drink of vodka and diet soda while I wait for my cheese potato casserole to come out of the oven.

I'm going to go ahead and tell you right now that if my body looked like that, you'd see me in the grocery store and post office wearing an outfit like that year round.  Insults or accusations of being a bully would just bounce off my taut abs.  Haters could kiss my smoking hot ass.

Maria Kang's attempt to motivate other moms might have offended some, but I don't think it is bullying.  At worst, maybe she's just a bitch a lot of moms wouldn't want to hang out with for her in-your-face approach.  My advice?  If you feel that way, don't hang out with her or visit her web site!

Now about the coach....  If you read the story, you'll see that the guy put in his second and third strings after the first quarter to try and slow down the score. High scores are the norm for this team this season.  The coach said he didn't know what else he could have done short of having his players take a knee.

I think the ridiculous part of this story is the fact that the father of a child on the losing team calls the huge win an act of bullying.  Seriously??? Based on what I read, it sounds like the winning coach conducted himself in a respectable manner.  It's not like he called plays that involved giving the opponent wedgies and commenting on the moral turpitude of their mothers. 

Classifying either of these stories as acts of bullying undermines cases where legitimate bullying has taken place.

WINNING is not bullying.  No one likes to lose, but losing is a fact of life.  Learn from it and let that inspire you to move on and try even harder next time.  Let it result in valuable traits like DETERMINATION and CHARACTER.  We are breeding mediocrity with this whole "everyone-gets-a-trophy-and-a-hug" mentality.  Lots of young people are going to be ill equipped and very disappointed when the time comes for them to compete in REAL LIFE. 

A Whore Raising Experience

Since I don't have kids, I rarely comment on child rearing techniques.  However, I recently witnessed a parenting cluster fuck the likes of which I've never seen.

Hubs and I were with a group of friends at our favorite Greek restaurant in the city.  My friend and the brother my parents never gave me, Roger, was on leave from the Army visiting with us, so we wanted him to experience this great place. (Roger isn't his real name, but I swore I'd use that name for him if he made the blog because instead of saying "yes" he always says, "Roger!") 

This restaurant is typically raucous with drinking, dancing on the tabletops and roaming belly dancers.  It's after 10 p.m. and we're relaxing after a delicious meal, enjoying some adult beverages and good conversation.  Suddenly, we notice something we'd never seen there before:  a group of small children ranging in age from I'd say three to eight years old.  I'm no expert, but should young kids be out in a bar at that time of night?

But wait!  There's more....

Little girls dressed in sequined outfits with bared midriffs joined the belly dancer.  They even got up on the tabletops and did bump and grind moves that were waaaaaaay beyond their years.   I wouldn't have been surprised if they'd started doing apple juice body shots.  Our group all looked at each other and asked, "Is this making anyone else uncomfortable?"  It was weird.  Very weird.  But, much like a train wreck, we couldn't look away.  I hadn't seen bumping and grinding that inappropriate since my Night at the Dusty Beaver.

Roger, whom I'd been telling about this place for a long time, turned and gave me a look that clearly said, "I had no idea you were in to this sort of scene, pervert."  I assured him that this had never happened before, but he remained skeptical, especially when the little ones began stuffing cash in the dancer's G-string.

One of the parents whom we immediately named "Stifler's Mom" due to her voluminous, exposed cleavage seemed to be directing the tots.  Nice influence, there, tits.  Was there a Billy Ray Cyrus parenting workshop in town we didn't know about?  I thought that perhaps this group was out on the town practicing newly acquired kid pimping skills. 

Now, while I believe it is important for kids to learn the art of tipping, I do not think that includes baby hands making it rain on a scantily clad dancer.  There are certain things that little girls in the single digits shouldn't do.  I never thought parents would have to be specifically told, "Hey, how about not letting your six-year-old drop it like it's hot next to my dinner?"  Oh, and, "While you're at it, could you tell your little princess to stop twerking on the waiter?"  I'm 43 years old and it's safe to say that my parents would still try to beat my ass if they saw me doing bullshit like that. 

We even asked the waiter,  "Is that appropriate in here?"  He said that the parents were responsible, so what could they do?  I beg to differ on the "responsible" part.  If those girls end up dancing on a pole one day, their parents can't say a damn word.  They planted the seed.

If there was a pedophile dining there that night, no doubt he thought he'd discovered the best floor show in town.  Does it make you proud, Stifler's Mom, to know that some perv is tucking away images of your six-year-old's provocative dancing into his spank bank for later?  Nice.  Really nice. 

How about displaying some good judgment and class Mom of the Year?  I Ain't Nobody's Mama, but I know bullshit parenting when I see it.